Today my grandparents left for their annual trip to Michigan. I walked over to their beautiful little adobe house. These pictures are a couple weeks old but I've been dying to use them.
Isn't it gorgeous? It's one of the most lively places on the farm. With the flowers, the garden, birds, turtles, etc. But still. Now that they're gone for the season there is something missing. It felt a little lonelier when I went to get vegetables from the garden.
It is still the perfect spot to sit and watch life buzz around. I love these flowers. The bright climbing ones always get me.
I am very excited about summer. Maybe too excited. I am started to feel a tad bit pent up and it's making me a little crazy. Good crazy. I think. This summer I want to have fun. Of course, I mean what fifteen year old girl doesn't say "Oh. My. God. I totally want to have the best summer of all time and like, it will be awesome and stuff". Like my stereotypical teenage girl impression? I want to be reckless and spontaneous. In a good way. Not like the 'life altering bad decision' kind of reckless. But were do I even start?
When you get out of the house in lovely little Abilene Texas you find your self asking questions like "Which chain restaurant do I want to eat at now?". It's not like we don't have fun. We (my friends and family) have tons of fun. We go eat dinner and see movies... Just the other night we had the time of our lives just going for some barbie-que and seeing a late night movie. I know the grass is always greener on the other side, but to me it seems like the grass in west texas is brown, and everyone else's gets to be green. I like green. Where's my green? Oh yeah, It's hovering like an aura around my envious face.
I am an optimistic person. Really. But there is a line between optimistic and just plain lying to yourself. If I told you I loved it here, I would be lying. If I said I am 100% happy with this place, I would be lying. I think about how amazing it would be to pack our bags and move to Chicago, or Tampa, or Appleton, or any less conservative, republican, don't think for yourself it's against god, place every single second of my existence. Woah, long sentence. Seriously. That's exactly how I feel. I feel like I'm getting no where here. How can I make friends if the only social gatherings for young minds are at church? I won't sacrifice anything that makes up who I am, but wow is it hard to sit around knowing there really isn't anywhere for you to go to fit in. Not like I want to fit, or blend. I would just like to get out of the house and go to that favorite record store, or that awesome surf shop. That place I can go because I love the environment. That place you can go when you need to get out of the house and spend some time. There isn't anything like that here and it eats me apart.
So that is what has been on my mind lately. I love hearing about how great it will be when we get out on our boat and start exploring the world but after a while you have a hard time smiling because of what you can imagine the future being like. You start to ask yourself "What about now? What am I supposed to do now?"
I'll just have to keep my head high, and a jar full of cookies ready.
Well If you've made it this far I would like to say thank you for listening to my rant. I hope you found it at least somewhat entertaining.
Aye it's time for me to go. I still haven't gotten the twitter or Facebook links up on the site. So for now here are links. Don't forget to like, and follow!!!
Twitter: https://twitter.com/#!/SugarSharks97
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/SugarSharks-Blog/188662471261756
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